The following is a guide to help you determine if your mate is cheating on you. After reading this list you may find there are some areas of concern. Do not confront the cheater. This will only cause them to clean up their act and make it more difficult for you to determine for sure what is going on. We at Assurance Investigations Group urge you to seek professional help.

1. He/she takes or makes phone calls in private. Although there may be a need for privacy when taking or making phone calls, if your partner retreats to the other room every time the phone rings, there may be something more going on, especially if this behavior is new or has suddenly become more frequent.

2. He/she deletes the text history on phone. Most people do not bother deleting old text messages … at least not until the phone is full. If your partner makes sure that old messages are deleted — or worse — deletes them as soon as they finish a conversation with someone, there may be more going on than just texting.

3. He/she maintains multiple e-mail or social media accounts. If you discover additional or hidden e-mail or social media sites, things are almost certainly not good. Simply put, people in committed relationships have no need to maintain accounts that their partners don’t know about. If you discover one of these, it is time to be concerned.

4. He/she avoids family or other social events. Infidelity, whether physical or emotional, will always result in lost time with friends and family. If your partner avoids social gatherings or activities, leaves early or arrives late because of some project or task, there may be a strong chance that they are spending time with someone else, whether on the phone, the computer, or in person.

5. He/she suddenly spends tons of time with another person. If your partner is suddenly spending a lot of time with a colleague, co-worker, friend or even an acquaintance, particularly if that person is of the opposite sex, you may want to learn more about this relationship and the possibility that there may be an affair going on.

6. He/she gives gifts or frequently volunteers to help another person. Although it is nice to give gifts and do kind things for friends, family members and even strangers, if your partner frequently gives gifts, especially those that are costly, take time and effort to prepare or have significant meaning, or volunteers to help out with projects around the home, this may be a sign that he or she is having an emotional affair.

7. You notice a different scent. Whether it’s another woman’s perfume or possibly a different brand of soap from showering elsewhere, your senses know things. If your partner is coming home freshly showered after a full day of work, the same way he or she left for work, you may have a hint they are having an affair.

8. Affection changes.Sometimes affection drops off a bit due to poor communication, unresolved issues or a recent argument. If this is unexplained behavior or he/she is repelling you with odd excuses, you may have a hint. At minimum, you have an issue in your relationship that needs to be addressed honestly.

9. He/she dresses differently. Has your husband or wife started to dress a little differently or do they keep their vehicle a bit cleaner? Have they been acting slightly happier and more cooperative, yet all of a sudden busier and just leaving the house more often? (e.g. going out more often with “friends,” running more errands, etc.) If so, take heed. Take interest in the new activity/involvement if you’re curious about what’s really going on.

10. Gone longer. Does your partner usually take the dog out for a half hour run every day, but now it’s a 60-90 minute walk-run? Who are they running into all of a sudden at the dog park or in the neighborhood? If it’s not “chatty Kathy,” they may be having an affair.

11. He/she picks fights. Is your partner starting arguments that end up in them leaving the house a lot? Are these garments coming up missing here and there? If so, something may be going on!

12. He/she being extra secretive. When your partner suddenly has a change in his privacy attitude — all of a sudden you’re not supposed to know there whereabouts or who they are talking to on the phone and it’s not close to your birthday, anniversary or upcoming gift-giving holiday — they may be having an affair.

13. There is a change in the emotional quality of your relationship. This may be shown as your partner is unengaged or overly engaged. We all go through emotional changes, like the weather. However, you may notice that your partner’s attitude has changed toward you over time; they may have become more self-absorbed and less interested in you or the relationship. Often, your partner may reject your offers of affection. Your best approach here is to pay attention and be curious.

14. He/she extremely angry. Anger and criticism that borders on cruelty is hard to take for all of us. Your partner may treat you with rudeness or impatience. They may be more controlling and more critical than usual. You may sense an increase in the degree of unhappiness in your spouse that is difficult to understand. With some partners, you may actually see an increase in happiness as a result of being involved in an affair.

15. You notice an increase in work or time spent away from home.Work can be demanding. During these times of economic stress, most workplaces are demanding more and more from their employees. Workplace relationships can develop into romantic relationships simply because the amount of time spent together on a common task tends to bond people together. If your partner has trouble with boundaries, this could lead to a problem for your relationship.

16. He/she pays an unusual amount of attention to appearance. This would be especially telling if up until now, your partner has not shown much attention to appearance. If your partner is having an affair, he or she has found a new source of love and affection. Looking good for the new person is normally very important.

17. He/she overly defensive. Defensiveness exists for many reasons. In the past, were you able to discuss issues openly and calmly? What you are looking for here is an increase in the normal amount of defensiveness.

18. Appearance has changed. Your partner, who previously dressed conservatively, is now suddenly buying designer boxer shorts and more trendy clothes. Or, your partner, who never spent much time grooming, is now fussy about how hair looks and uses grooming products they have never used before.

19. Behavior has changed. Your partner, who usually avoided office parties and events, is now constantly attending them “for the sake of his/her career.” Or, your partner suddenly takes up and becomes obsessed with a new hobby or sport that keeps them away from home. Or, your partner who usually is home for dinner every night now “works late” and takes more frequent “business trips.”

20. Attitude has changed. Your laid back partner seems to have been injected with unusual enthusiasm, seems more happy, alive, energetic and is more kind and loving towards you, too. He/she may buy you more gifts and shower you with surprises, which, until now, has not been the natural character.

21. He/she wants less “we time” and more “me time.” When you got together as a couple, you consciously or unconsciously negotiated how much “me time” you would have and how much “we time” you as a couple would have. Now, you are noticing a shift from “we” to your partner wanting much more “me” time. You aren’t included to the degree you used to be in your partner’s extra-curricular activities.